Someone or something close to me dying or leaving me. For some reason, i have not emotional control when things like that happen. It happened once before my very eyes and it's bad enough. Seeing my bro and i's beloved rabbit to die in our arms at a very tender age is very much tramatic. Thank god i dun have to witness my grandfather or grandmother's death. Even till now, they are being remembered dearly. They all felt as those they were with me just yesterday.And for the most recent death, it was tt of my hamster, who perhaps died of some eye tumour.

And what triggered this post was that someone close to me is now put in this situation but i on the other hand feels frighten for him. How many more times do i need to deal with them? I'm nt that strong. And for now, i cannot imagine the day whereby my dog were to leave me. I have no idea how upset i would be and he has passed half of his lifespend, just how long does he have left? Would i be there to watch him in pain and suffering? Will i then be financially stable to provide him with the best.

I really dont know........

Life is fragile. Why do we have to be in situations like this....

And as for me, I've nvr been good at dealing with death... Nvr have been....

So how many more death do i have to see/ go through.

Up till now, every single one still feels as raw, thinking abt it just brings rain onto my face. and for that i really hate myself, i cannot understand why am i so lousy at this. why can't i be stronger. sigh....